


The Heat Behind His Eyes - Part 1

by SonicoSenpai



Series: The Heat Behind His Eyes [1]
Category: Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-
Genre: Discipline, Domestic Discipline, Domestic Fluff, First Time, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love at First Sight, Lust at First Sight, M/M, Non-Consensual Spanking, Obsession, Points of View, Rai's pov, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romantic Fluff, Sexual Tension, Spanking, Spoilers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Violence, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 03:26:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13895250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicoSenpai/pseuds/SonicoSenpai
Summary: I do not own Lamento: Beyond the Void or any of their characters, upon which this work is based, though I adore them. I will be quoting *many* of the interactions between the characters from the game in here, so please be alert of spoilers! This should not deter you from playing it, though, as it’s a great game. Go buy the game, it’s great!The fire behind Konoe’s eyes is what first attracts Rai to Konoe in this piece of crap ficlet. He acts out of character when jumping to his defense in the forest, much to his own surprise. This work explores mostly what goes through Rai’s head when he first meets Konoe, and I’ll  see how things work out.Things diverge from the regular LBTV universe after their second meeting, however. We’ll see where it goes! Weirdly, my characters are turning out differently than expected, but I’m just going to go with it and see what happens. I added some other fetishes in this version—and it kinda threw everything for a loop, adding an obsessive streak in there I didn’t see coming. But it’s kinda fun!





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the BL game, this is written from Rai’s POV. However, in this world, Rai is a little more in touch with his feelings than in the game.
> 
> This is the first meeting of Rai and Konoe, when Konoe is running through the forest to escape bandits trying to kill him. Rai is just cleaning up after a bounty, and jumps in to rescue Konoe, on a whim, it turns out.

_Warmth. No, more than warmth: heat. Radiating from his body, his entire being, most noticeable in his eyes._

This is Rai’s first impression of the smaller cat, dashing through the forest, fighting for his life from a group of bandits.  _Not_ _desperation_ , with which Rai is all too familiar— _it’s heat, mixed with the desire to survive, perhaps?_ Rai can’t tell, but he is magnetically attracted to those honey-colored eyes. He’d just finished collecting on his last bounty and was resting when he heard the commotion.

When Rai’s functioning cool blue eye meets the amber pair, they fly open in surprise as the fleeing cat trips over a root and is sent flying to the ground. Rai’s breath draws in sharply. _What is this feeling?_

Is it the warmth that pulls him into action? The adrenaline remaining in his system from catching his latest bounty? The draw of the younger cat’s strangely shaped, oversized black ears? Whatever the case, Rai feels that call to battle.

Both cats jump to their feet, Rai moving his body in between the smaller cat and his pursuers as a protective barrier. With three quick slashes—his paces coming naturally in an elegant dance from years of practice—the first onslaught is finished, the pursuing cats lying on the ground in a pool of blood.

Curiosity pulls his face toward the smaller cat once more in evaluation. Did he _really_ feel that heat, or had it been his imagination? The smaller cat, still startled by Rai’s presence, and even more surprised by his assistance, boldly meets his gaze and confirms the warmth Rai had felt minutes earlier. _How could a cat his size, alone in a forest, running away from a dozen bandits, on the verge of losing his life, cast his eyes with such defiance, such bravado? And toward his savior, no less!_

_Does he remind me of myself?_ Rai ponders, as he meets the gaze. Fueled with adrenaline from the earlier short fight, the smaller cat’s attractive shapely build, compact and muscular, doesn’t escape Rai’s notice, nor his interest. And neither does his interesting black tail, strangely hooked at the end. _Black ears and a black tail? How unusual._

Their eyes lock for several short minutes, just long enough to leave an impact on Rai at least, before he hears additional cats approaching noisily.

“Go,” he hears himself say. Why is he protecting this cat? Why does he feel drawn to him? Why would Rai want to risk himself to protect him? _On a whim, of course—simply out of boredom,_ he is sure... _or is it something more?_ Does this small cat hold the key to that warmth that Rai has been seeking for so long?

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai’s point of view on his first meeting with Konoe. He’s confused and overthinking things.

Those bandits needed to be dealt with sooner or later. It might as well be today. They’ve been interfering for some time, getting in my way of hunting prey, bothering innocent bystanders and merchants I rely on for supplies. It was only a matter of time before I’d need to take them out. I can justify my actions. This was not a fight for the sake of blood. This was business.

As I wipe down my sword, a little surprised at how easy this task had been—there must have been a little over a dozen—I begin to feel a little strange. Why had I decided to take them out now? Was it convenient? Or did it have something to do with that younger cat with the strange black ears and tail? Why can’t I get his bright amber eyes out of my head?

The way he met my eyes back then—at first I thought he was only desperate to live, afraid for his own life and needing help, fearful to have come upon a great warrior such as myself—but then, as he held my gaze, I realized I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I always have held the upper hand. But for some reason, he held my attention in a way no other cat has been able to in the past.

Was this love? Love at first sight? One of those things Bardo had warned me about in the past? _You’ll know it when you feel it, Rai._ Let’s just push that unpleasant memory aside, for now.

Warmth? His eyes held a warmth and heat I’ve never felt before, an urgency and need I’ve never known, as though there were something special or mysterious inside them, lurking just underneath the surface.

The large size of his ears, in comparison to his head, was somehow endearing. He looked so young like he hadn’t quite grown into himself yet. The jet black color was unusual—I’ve never seen a color like that before in my hometown or anywhere else I’d traveled before. There’s that legendary curse, of course, but I’m sure a cursed cat wouldn’t have such lush, thick shiny fur like that. Kira? Is he from Kira, perhaps? Just thinking about his ears makes me want to stroke them with my hands, groom then with my tongue—he’d been running for his life just before—his fur was glistening with sweat, eager to survive, and so unkempt and... helpless.

Then my thoughts wander to his tail—also the same jet black, like a shadow—with that amazing hooked shape at the end. Was it broken? Or was he simply holding his tail like that for some reason? Could it have been an old injury, or was he born that way? Was he currently injured? His face looked pained, though I didn’t smell blood on him.

His compact form was perfect. I’m tall and muscular, but lean. This cat is so much smaller, but also muscular. His form was nicely balanced if perhaps a bit scrawny—his limbs the right length for his body, his torso nice and compact. When I close my eyes, I can still see his chest rising up and down, struggling to breathe, just after he tripped over that root.

He wasn’t an experienced fighter, that’s for sure. He was loud as he came crashing through the forest, and as he came flying through my space. He seemed to clutch his chest with his claws as well. Perhaps he really had been injured. But despite all of this—he struggled to stand and meet my eye as I glanced over my shoulder, and he refused to avert his gaze.

How old was he? He couldn’t have yet gone through his first heat, though I could smell he was close. And wow--what a scent! I couldn’t help noticing his shapely backside and slim waist, muscular and trim, almost feminine. His petite frame was undeniably attractive—I didn’t realize I even had a type—and when he raised his face to mine, the fire in his eyes nearly stopped my heart—which, until that moment, I’ve refused to acknowledge.

A heart, to a warrior, is a useless thing. I fight for money, for bounty. In my line of work, a heart filled with emotions gets in the way. During my first heat, of course, I felt something like emotions for the female with whom I coupled, but I immediately abandoned her for a bounty in a far-off village. She deserved a tom who would treasure her for life—a tom who would be with her always and be present for her. Me? I love my work. I love what I do. I love hunting prey, setting traps, and, quite frankly, the thrill of killing prey and collecting his bounty. This is the life of a single man, not of a married person. My father tried, and it ruined his family. I must have inherited my love of work from him.

The feelings I have now—well, this is ridiculous. There’s no place for them here.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the second meeting of Konoe and Rai, also from Rai’s POV. The dialog follows the BL game very closely, but again, we see what Rai may be thinking, what perhaps went on in Rai’s head during his second meeting with Konoe. He attacks Konoe as sort of a test of strength, to see if he might make a good companion.
> 
> Nothing too weird yet, but this Rai is getting some ideas, you see.

The chance to meet again came more quickly than Rai could have hoped for. After collecting his bounty, Rai returned to the forest for more information. The perfect opportunity arose for a test of strength. After a surprise attack and short battle with the small cat, Rai is honest.

“You’re not bad.” Never one to mince words, and always straight to the point, Rai considers he might be able to work with this cat. He’d never trained anyone before, and he’d always traveled alone. He didn’t understand himself why he was so drawn to this kitten. But Rai was never one to deny himself, so it wouldn't hurt to be blunt. If one didn’t ask, one wouldn’t receive.

Additionally, the young cat had actually managed to wound him in their test of strength. Not significantly, of course, but a wound nonetheless. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been wounded in such a battle. Had it been since his eye had been taken, perhaps?

“You. Where are you from? What’s your name?” Rai continues.

“You give me your name first.”

“I’m asking you.” After a short pause, Rai speaks again. “You’re the cat from before, right? You don’t seem the least bit thankful. You’ve got some nerve.”

The smaller cat makes a clicking sound with his tongue and says, “No one asked for your help.”

“Well said,” Rai responds lightly. He plants his sword into the ground. “If I didn’t step in back then, you’d have been done for. Or did you want to die?”

The smaller cat put his hands on his hips, huffs, grits his teeth, and growls. Rai notices the luscious black fur of his beautiful tail swelling out as well. Rai’s lips curve up slightly at this reaction.

“Don’t get so angry. Brash cats die young. They easily lose sight of their surroundings.”

“Shut up! Just who are you? What do you want from me?”

Rai couldn’t resist. “Prone to biting, too, huh?” He asks, in a slightly softer tone.

“Shut up!” The younger cat shouts, something seems to snap. He lunges towards Rai, intending to strike. Rai moves deftly out of the way, leaving the younger to strike out at nothing and causing him to lose his balance. Rai takes the opportunity to knock the back of the younger’s knees, swiping his feet right out from under him.

Right after he hits the ground, Rai moves his sword, plunging it into the earth right next to the young cat’s face, just to be sure he has the younger cat’s attention.

“You were tripped so easily? Didn’t I just tell you? Brash cats die young.”

Looking down at the flustered younger cat, Rai smiles. His attraction to the warmth of this young one is even more powerful today than the first day they met—especially after testing his strength and seeing his independent spirit. He can’t describe it, but his curiosity is piqued. He simply _has_ to know more.

“I’ll ask again. Where are you from, and what do they call you?” He can feel (and almost see) resistance oozing from the cat below. The younger did not want to submit. “Stubborn, huh?”

“Why do you want to know?” Even his question is reluctant.

“I want to know about the cat who wounded me. It’s not particularly strange to want to know about that,” Rai responds coolly.

“Do you have that much confidence in your own abilities?”

Rai tries not to laugh out loud at that statement, and it is awfully hard to keep his expression neutral.

“My story isn’t important. I’m asking about you. Speak.” Rai tries to change the amusement he felt into intimidation and focuses that into his gaze at the small cat lying on the ground before him. _Why isn’t he begging for his life, like others before him had done?_ He can’t play it totally straight, and adds, “I’m not a patient person. If you want me to open a hole in your face, keep quiet.”

That comment is graced with another adorable angry huff, which, frankly, pulls at Rai’s heartstrings. _Why this cat?_ Why does he find him irresistible? He can’t understand it. Rai barely resists the urge to touch the smaller cat’s face, however, as close as he is. As adorable as his puffed-up tail, flattened ears, growling voice and angry huffs are—just in time, the smaller cat lifts up his head and meets Rai’s eye with his own fiery ones.

“Konoe. I’m a cat of Karou.”

“Karou?” Rai echoes, mesmerized for a moment by Konoe’s eyes.

“I answered, right? So take away your sword.”

The thought then occurs to Rai that he might actually be intimidating this smaller cat, and he isn’t sure that is his intention. Although—he does want to impress this cat, _that_ is for sure. He _needs_ this cat to accompany him. How is he going to do this? He hasn’t thought this through, Rai realizes. Of course, he could bring him along by force, but he’d prefer Konoe accompany him of his own free will. This isn’t a requirement, of course, but it would make things a little easier.

Startling him from his thoughts, Konoe’s voice breaks through. “It’s your turn now. What’s your name?”

“Rai.” Rai senses movement in the forest beyond them.

“Hometown?”

“Setsura.” Definitely-hostile presences are approaching.

“Why did you appear in front of me all of a sudden? And why did you attack me?”

In an indulgent tone, Rai responds, “You’re a noisy cat, aren’t you? So many questions. But I don’t have time to leisurely answers them right now.”

That’s when his business rivals appear from the brush and join them, and a heated battle between them ensues. Rai hopes Konoe will heed his command to flee. He couldn’t bear the thought of that amazing, lush jet black fur being sullied by this approaching pair, especially since he knew Konoe has nothing to do with his disagreement with them. He knows this pair often takes bystanders with them as food or slaves when their bounty escapes.

 _Why am I protecting him?_ Rai considers again, his thoughts surprising him. _I’ve never felt this way about another cat before, and this little one is troublesome, bratty, full of himself, and overconfident. Is it this simply sexual attraction? Could this be the first time I’m experiencing sexual attraction outside of heat?_

For a brief moment—not longer than five seconds—Rai permits his gaze to drift away from the impending battle field, and his eyes rest on Konoe: the cat’s compact figure; his oversized, pointed ears; that soft shiny fur—he couldn’t look at those ears without imagining how soft they might feel on his tongue; the soft, messy hair, also desperately in need of grooming; his fiery eyes, blazing with heat—such a contrast to his own cool icy blue; his thick lips, currently shaped in a half pout, half frown, so typical of a cat his age; his slender throat, asking to be stroked; the well-formed muscles of his chest and arms, which hid much more strength than they appeared; his trim waist which led to slim hips, upon which his trousers clung snuggly, leaving nothing to the imagination of his nicely rounded posterior—shaped almost like a woman’s, Rai thoughts wandering just a bit; a perfect accent is that jet black tail with a hooked end, definitely one of a kind; his apron covered the front of his legs, but he could still see powerful leg muscles bulging through—those had been what had allowed him to escape Rai’s attack earlier. Those legs and his quick thinking—the heat behind his eyes, the need to survive and live.

After exchanging insults with his rivals, Rai realizes there is only one solution. He will catch up with Konoe later. He simply _must_  have him as his companion, but he would not risk him in this fight. There wasn’t a way to both protect Konoe and win this fight against this Touga and Sanga pair. He projects his most powerful voice, hoping Konoe will comply. “Leave.”

Rai throws a simple command over his shoulder to Konoe, speaking slowly and bluntly: “You’ll get in the way. If you don’t fancy dying, get out of here quickly.”

“Those two, could they be...?” Konoe doesn’t get a chance to finish his question before the battle begins.

Rai hopes with all his heart that Konoe would obey as he plunges himself headlong into battle. He’d fought these two many times before, and they were improving little by little.

As Rai suspects, the Sanga has learned a new tune. Much to Rai’s dismay, it starts to look like he won’t be able to impress Konoe as much he’d hoped. The enemy Touga is jumping in and out like a fish in water—like nothing Rai had seen this fighter do in any single previous fight. Grumbling, he can’t see an opportunity to counter, leaving him only the ability to parry the blows.

_Ah, so it’s the power of the wind, according to the Sanga. If only I had such power, think of what I might be able to accomplish. But I don’t need it. I have my own strength on which to stand. Even with their song, I can easily hold my own—I just need to find a way in to attack!_

To try to put just a little distance between them, Rai jumps into the forest. He doesn’t quite make it, however, as the enemy Touga grabs his tail, dragging both of them to the ground. Both lose their swords, bearing fangs and claws. During the struggle, Rai hears a soft worried murmur in the back of his mind, but he ignores it.

He can feel it happen before it happens, for some reason, and it feels like slow motion. An agonized scream is wrenched from the Sanga. He’s been attacked!

That gets the enemy Touga’s attention immediately, as well. “Oi?!”

“You stupid cat,” yells Rai, as he notices the enemy Touga’s ears perk up, just before he lunges at Konoe.

 _What was he thinking? That small cat attacked the Sanga! Why? His life is in danger now!_ Rai quickly sits up, just in time to see the smaller cat’s shoulder getting mauled and his tail clawed. Inwardly, Rai cringed— _why? This is battle! I don’t cringe in battle. Battle is bloody. Cats are injured in battle, and that cat did something really stupid! Why am I cringing?!?_

Suddenly, a sound.

No. Not a sound. A song. A beautiful song. In fact, the most beautiful song he’s ever heard. _What is it?_ Rai doesn’t know, but it is _for him_ , _meant_ for him, for _his heart_ , for _his body,_ and for _his soul._

 _It’s touching me. The very depths of my soul, where no one has ever touched. It’s so..._ warm _. It’s almost hot. White hot._

He can feel the song coming from Konoe, the small cat. It sounds like his eyes look--if such a thing is possible--can music sound like something looks?—the melody sounds like the warmth and heat that comes from his eyes. If that song had a color, it is the honey color of his eyes. There were no words, but the song speaks to Rai. It says: “I am yours. You are mine. I believe in you. Fight for me. I will lend you my strength. You have everything you need to fight inside of you. _Take me—I am yours_.”

It is a powerful and gentle melody, enough to bring tears to his cold eye and melt his ice-cold heart. It touched his very soul, where no one had touched him before. It sends a shudder down his spine.

Then—

And then—

Oh—

An amazing power fills him from his toes to the tip of his tail, causing it to bristle out, even out to his ears. He feels shivers traveling up and down his spine. It feels close to orgasmic, only powerful.

He can’t remember standing up, but he soon finds himself at the scene of another rescue, as though his body moved on its own.

The song is gentle and so full of warmth— _this feeling_ is what he had been searching for his whole life! An amazed sigh escapes his lips, full of pleasure, and he glances at Konoe.

Shockingly, he sees several small tendrils of light extend from Konoe to him, connecting them. He himself is glowing, his silver hair blowing in the wind.

Rai tries moving and seems to float across the ground. He is amazingly fast—it feels like he's flying. He immediately takes on both the enemy Touga, in a blink of an eye. He feels no pain. In addition to the warmth, he feels a strange sense of comfort, even joy, as he continues his attack. The enemy Sanga is taken out in no time.

As he fights, he realizes he now has the _perfect_ excuse to take Konoe along with him—to train him as a Sanga. He’s always wanted one, but he had no idea what kind of effect they’d actually have!

Rai feels his usually graceful movements speed up, feeling even more like a dance. He is more confident than ever that Konoe will come along with him, after seeing him fight. Rai is an impressive fighter, and with a Sanga, even more so. There could be no denying it. Perhaps Konoe might even return his feelings...

 _What am I even thinking about right now? In the middle of a battle? This is ridiculous!_ Rai rebukes himself sharply.

“I’m ending this,” Rai states to his business rivals while pulling out his long sword.

They manage to escape, however, before he gets a chance.

“Should you let them escape?” Konoe asks, surprisingly meek.

Rai turns to Konoe, unsure of how to proceed.

“You... I heard a song. From you.”

“A song?” A dubious look appears on Konoe’s face.

“A song without words sounded in my head. Then I was suddenly filled with power. It was like some kind of dormant energy had been awakened. I didn’t know it’d have that much of an effect.” Rai studies Konoe’s face as he spoke. Was it possible that this cat didn’t realize he was a Sanga? He continues, “You... Could you possibly be a Sanga?”

Konoe’s face fills with disbelief and a mix of surprise and fear. “I’m a Sanga?”

“Yes. Perhaps you’ve never sung before?”

After watching Konoe nod, Rai smirks knowingly. “It’s something that seems to present itself at the most valuable times. Touga can feel it. You’re a Sanga.”

A noise of disbelief falls from the young cat’s lips—rather endearingly. “That can’t be true,” Konoe insists.

But Rai sees those adorable black ears perk up, watches that cute black tail get fluffy, and he knows his work is almost done for him.

“Hmpf,” he says, taking the tone of the cat with more experience, and possibly to work Konoe up a little more. “You’ll realize it eventually. Not using this newfound power is your loss. There are plenty of cats who want to be able to do this, but can’t.”

“Use it,” Konoe echoes. “How?”

“Do you remember when you were singing?” Rai asks gently.

Konoe shakes his head in response.

This might make things just a bit more difficult, but it would keep this young cat with him longer. Sheathing his sword, Rai realizes his tail is swaying side to side.

“I see. So it was an accident. You’ll need to train until you can control it,” he suggests.

“Train?” Another echo from Konoe. _That is so freaking cute!_

Unable to control himself, Rai watches his hand reach out to Konoe’s shoulder and pull him close. _Don’t scare the poor guy!_

“Let go of me,” Konoe starts to argue. But the power of his voice isn’t as bold since he had dropped his eye contact. Is he embarrassed?

“Come with me.” Rai tries to use his most cool, most neutral tone here. Either way, Konoe _would_ be coming along with him. It would just be much easier on Konoe if he _chose_ to come along with his own free will.

“Huh?” Another typical teenage dumb-sounding utterance drops from the young cat’s lips. _Gods, that's cute._

“I’m going to _help_ you. To enhance your Sanga abilities.” Rai’s voice now sounds full of confidence.

Surprisingly, Konoe shakes his arm free from Rai and pulls away. _What’s this now? A little display of disobedience? We can deal with that soon enough._

“What? If you have something to say to me, speak.”

“First off, enough of that. I didn’t ask for your help, and I didn’t agree to go with you. Don’t just decide this stuff on your own.” The anger and power behind Konoe’s words are filled with heat and warmth, and Rai _loves_ it.

“Then what are you going to do?” Rai answers; calm, cool, collected. He watches the younger cat, who is staring down at his feet, looking like he’d like to run away or dig a hole to hide in. _It should be against the law to be so adorable!_

“Before that, answer my questions. Then I’ll think about it.” His reply is quite determined.

“Fine.” _Here’s hoping I can keep a straight face and keep my hands to myself..._

“Why... When I was attacked by the bandits, you helped me escape. But then when we met again today, you suddenly attacked me. Just what are your intentions?” He looks so angry and put out. _Am I getting myself into more than I can handle, I wonder,_ Rai is surprisingly alert to every change of expression, every mannerism, all those emotions piled up on the outside of Konoe’s face, for the whole world to see.

“Back with the bandits, it was just on a whim. I was cleaning up small prey. That’s all. Today, I was testing your strength. To see how long you could hold your own.” _He will find out the rest soon enough, I suppose._

“Test my strength?”—Another cute little echo, Rai sighs delightedly—“Why did you feel the need to do that?”

“I enjoy fighting skilled opponents. If they’re not strong, they’ll probably be killed by bandits or monsters sooner or later anyway. Had I killed you earlier, it wouldn’t have been much different.”

“So you’re just some random murderer.”

Rai has to suppress a guffaw here, but he is able to maintain his cool, collected tone.

“Perhaps. If you want to think of it that way, go ahead. I don’t really care.”

A tone of disgust passes Konoe’s lips, and again, Rai marvels at how easily this young one lets his feelings show. _And why am I leering at him like some lecher?_

“And those two from earlier?”

“Colleagues of mine. Well, I guess I should say, ‘business rivals.’”

“Business rivals?” _The echo again? Does he think out loud? How absolutely enchanting!_

“Near Ransen there’s a hideout in the forest where news of bounties come in. There was some guy in the forest. I was about the collect the bounty on him when you appeared.”

“Bounties... You’re a bounty hunter?” _I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to kiss those plump lips of his if he keeps echoing every freaking word I say! Shit! Get a hold of yourself, man!_

Suddenly, Konoe’s bright eyes meet Rai’s, making his heart skip a beat.

“Ransen is near here?” A sort of desperation flows into Konoe’s voice that wasn’t there before.

“It’s not that far,” replies Rai, seeing an opening.

“There’s a path?” Desperation grows as the words are spoken more quickly.

Rai nods, and he notices Konoe’s ears twitch in agitation.

“You want to go to Ransen?” He keeps his tone neutral.

“Yes.”

“The reason?”

Of course, Konoe is silent. Rai is slightly annoyed, but not surprised by the silence. He puts on his best condescending smile and says, “I asked, and you’re quiet. Now, who’s the selfish one?”

An angry noise comes from Konoe, and Rai knows his words have provoked him. He _loves_ seeing this cat’s emotions.

Rai doesn’t really care about the reason. Either way, he’ll take this cat with him. This will be his _last chance_ to come along of his own free will, however.

“Whatever. What do you want to do? Decide. Are you coming with me or not?”

“You’re going to Ransen?” Konoe sounds just a little unsure.

“Yeah. I suppose I could go back,” Rai speaks affably.

Meeting Rai’s gaze with determined eyes, Konoe says, “I’ll go, too.”

Rai returns the gaze for a moment or two, thinking, _Of course, you will. I’m glad you’ve decided to join me on your own. This will be much more pleasant for you_.

Then, he turns around, begins walking, and says, “Follow me.”

_Before we walk for too much longer, however, I’d probably better let him know the ground rules. The sooner the better, I suspect. Also, he’d better stay behind me, or I may not be able to keep my hands off of him._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai takes it upon himself to tame Konoe’s bad attitude and instill some respect in the younger cat—by taking him over his knee. This chapter diverges from the game significantly.
> 
> Trigger warning: non-consensual spanking up ahead, as per tags.

They were walking quietly for about ten minutes, Rai casually swaying his bushy tail from left to right, thinking about the best way to get his point across to Konoe. Rai’s voice breaks the silence suddenly.

“Listen.”

Konoe’s ears perk up immediately.

“What?”

_Already he doesn’t have the respect he needs to have for training to take. I can hear it in his voice. I don’t want to quash his spirit, but for my sake, he needs to have respect._

“There’s a special bond between Sanga and Touga. I believe as we train and fight, that bond will develop naturally. But because you are a new Sanga, I worry about your attitude.”

Konoe doesn’t respond, but Rai feels a hostile glare at his back. The only sounds are leaves crunching under their feet.

“As your Touga, it falls to me to teach you. You can’t learn if you don’t listen or respect me. I’m older than you, have more years and many more hours of fighting and sword training than you do. I think that is obvious.”

Again, more hostile silence.

“I wouldn’t have offered to train you if I didn’t think you had talent, and if I didn’t think you could learn. But you are going to do this _my_ way. And you must have noticed I’m not a patient person.”

Rai notices Konoe has stopped walking. He stops and turns around. He is surprised at what he sees. His heart even gives a little leap at the sight.

Konoe is standing stock still, all fur on end, its glossy luster shining to its fullest, his fangs bared. A low growl leaks from his throat. Even his claws peek from his fingertips.

 _To see such a small cat in such a state—_ my _Sanga—the one who sang that beautiful song for me—I’m amazed. He’s adorable!_ Rai can hardly contain himself. His eyes wander to Konoe’s tail.

“You have a crooked tail,” Rai remarks. _Oh god, did I just say that out loud?_

“... What did you say?” Konoe registers a little surprise at first. He is _shocked_  Rai isn’t threatened and gets even angrier that Rai is commenting on his appearance.

Rai reaches out to grab it, wanting to put the hooked part in his mouth to lick it, but settling on ruffling the fur in his hand instead.

This action isn’t at all what Konoe expects, and the unexpected action causes him a surprising surge of pleasure, especially because he is currently so wound up. A loud yelp escapes his mouth before he can stop it.

 _He can_ feel _in the hooked part! Amazing!_

“Let me go!” Konoe snatches his tail back from Rai’s hands, confusion and fear mixing in with his anger.

“What do you _want_ from me? What are you talking about? Respect? Why would I treat someone like _you_ with respect? I don’t know you! You’re just some random killer!” He knows he is shouting now, but he doesn’t care.

Rai makes sure to keep his voice low and calm and approaches the smaller cat more closely, keeping his own fur from bristling.

“Brash cats die young. Didn’t you hear me before? I won’t have you dying on my watch. I want you to learn all you can from me. To learn, you must respect your master in all things. You must obey your master in all things. This is your first lesson.”

He takes Konoe’s chin in hand and tilts it gently upwards to make eye contact. Konoe instantly looks away, refusing eye contact. Rai’s mouth curves upwards at the corners slightly at this response and tilts his chin gently to follow Konoe’s eyes like he would a stubborn child’s. Konoe squeezes his eyes shut.

“What’s this? So stubborn. You _chose_ to follow me, didn’t you? Do you really want to learn the _hard_ way?” Rai lowers his voice nearly to a whisper. He can feel the smaller cat flinch at his words.

Konoe twists his body to try to get away, but it is no use. Rai has already grabbed him and pulled him in close to his body.

“Tell me, didn’t your parents discipline you when you were younger?”

Those words grab Konoe’s attention. He jerks his eyes in Rai’s direction. _Have no fear, little one. I won’t hurt you more than you can handle. Only till you acknowledge me._

While Konoe’s eyes are locked on Rai’s face, Rai takes the opportunity to pin Konoe’s hands behind his back and strap them together with the belt he’d unfastened when he first stopped walking, before approaching Konoe. Sometimes being a tall breed from Setsura has its advantages.

That’s when the panic sets in.

“What are you doing?” Konoe cries desperately. “Let me go! I haven’t _done_ anything! I haven’t disrespected you!” _My heart is breaking for you, young one. This punishment is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you._

Oddly, Rai feels a lump in the back of his throat and his eye is stinging. _This_   _has to be done, or training as a pair will never work out._

“Something you should know about me, your Touga, is that my parents were very strict. My father raised his hand to me for any reason. I never knew love or warmth. But that is not my intention here. I only want you to acknowledge me as your master and show me the respect I am due. Otherwise, your training will not hold.”

Rai sits down on a fallen tree log, one he’d noticed in passing just before the confrontation began, dragging the yelling and struggling Konoe over his lap. Rai sighs, seeing how angry Konoe is.

“Stop this! Let me go! Get your hands off me right now! This is bullshit! I hate this, I hate you, I never should have come with you! You’re a liar and a bully!” Konoe violently objects.

Rai sounds sympathetic. “I’m sorry I have to punish you. I really don’t want to, Bakaneko. But there is no other way to make you understand the importance of our roles, and what they mean. How else am I going to get you to listen?”

In between the kitten's shouting, Rai adds quietly, whispering right into Konoe’s ear (which is just as soft as it looks, he realizes with delight, as he deliberately brushes his lips against it), “This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.”

And just as those words are spoken—smack!

Rai’s hand comes down hard on Konoe’s ass.

Smack!

Again, just as hard, not even giving him a chance to recover.

Smack!

Slightly more on the left cheek this time.

Smack!

Again on the left, very low, right at the sit spot, where his leg and buttock connect. Konoe yelps loudly at that one.

Smack! Smack!

Repeating those on the right side—spanking his sit spot hurts Konoe more than anything he can remember as a kid.

Suddenly Rai stops and pulls Konoe’s bound arms up slightly behind his back. With lightning-fast speed, he shoves Konoe’s sash upwards along with his apron, and yanks down his trousers and underwear to his knees in one fell swoop, exposing his bare bottom to the chilly air. The spanking had already warmed him up, leaving his buttocks nicely pink.

Konoe’s silky black tail floats down beseechingly, and Konoe turns his head helplessly toward Rai. Rai notices the younger cat’s face is nearly as pink as his bottom.

“Please... this is...” But he is unable to finish.

 _Humiliating? Embarrassing? Painful? But absolutely beautiful._ Rai can’t help noticing and admiring the contrast of the pale white skin of Konoe’s thighs, round pink bottom, and black tail—white, pink and black—and his bound hands, resting at the small of his back. _So helpless and at my mercy._

Before continuing, Rai rubs those smooth globes softly, realizing he is purring, “I am your master. This won’t work unless you acknowledge me as such. This is where you belong. You have a strong will, and I like that. But you must acknowledge me.”

Konoe turns his face away in embarrassment, as Rai knew he would. And then—

Smack!

So much louder, so much clearer is the sound against his bare skin! Rai can see his handprint and feels Konoe wiggling against his lap, trying to escape. He can feel a sharp breath intake from the young cat on his lap.

Smack!

This time, the sound is accompanied by a cry from Konoe. His bound hands scoot lower, attempting to protect his naked behind. Rai easily gathers them up and holds them fast for the next blow.

Smack!

The sweet spot this time. Sobs burst from Konoe after this blow, and his tail lowers to protect him from the next. Rai puts the hooked part in his mouth, biting the soft fur gently yet firm enough to hold it out of the way while pulling the length of away from his bottom. He doesn’t want to injure that tail.

Smack!

Another sweet spot hit. A second honest sob leaks from Konoe, and he frustratingly tries to lash his tail.

Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!

Real tears, crying and near uncontrollable sobbing begin at this point, and Konoe is unable to catch his breath. After a few more volleys, the tail relaxes, his hands stop resisting, and he relaxes onto Rai’s lap for the rest of his punishment. Rai can feel him melting into his lap, accepting the punishment.

Shortly after Rai sees Konoe submit, he slows his hand. He stops spanking and gently rubs Konoe’s bright red ass, which looks like it is burning at this point. Strangely, Rai's chest hurts a little.

“Do you feel like you’ve learned your lesson?”

He feels Konoe’s hitched breathing on his lap, rubbing against his crotch, but he isn’t trying to get away.

“Y-y-yes. Y-you were r-right. I w-was dis-disrespec-pectful. Y-you are m-my m-master. I d-deserve p-punishment when I d-don’t ack-acknowledge you as my m-master. I s-spoke rudely to you. I ch-chose to f-follow you, and I n-need to resp-pect you. I’m s-sorry. P-please for-forgive me.”

“Well, then. It looks like this punishment served its purpose. Come here.”

Rai pulls Konoe up into a sitting position onto his lap and into an embrace. His pants are still around his knees, his sash has come unbound, his bottom is still burning red hot. Rai can feel the warmth on his lap, which he finds terribly arousing. But he holds Konoe tightly in his arms and whispers into his soft black ear, brushing it with his lips again.

“You are my precious Sanga. I am your Touga. I will protect you with my life. You are bound to me, and I am bound to you. I will teach you everything I know, and I want to see you grow. I only punish you for the sake of your growth.”

Rai wraps his arms around Konoe and is surprised—and delighted—to feel the young cat melt into them. As Konoe leans into him, Rai feels something strange in his chest—melting, warming. Rai’s hands travel over Konoe’s back to find his wrists, which he quickly unbinds, feeling Konoe’s arms immediately snake around him. Rai runs his hands ever so gently over that soundly spanked bottom, still warm to the touch, smooth and soft. Konoe shows no resistance; in fact, he seems to melt into Rai’s arms even further.

Rai can no longer resist the urge to groom Konoe’s soft, adorably large black ears, and so he does. He doesn’t intend anything sexual. This action is merely the sign of deep affection, and he wants to soothe the smaller cat like his mother did for him when he was a baby. He grooms those soft ears—both the inside and outside—and finds himself tempted by that hooked tail, but stops himself. He can feel the younger cat relaxing in his lap, and he delights in the sound of Konoe’s loud, honest purr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m realizing my Rai is talking a *lot* more than I thought he would. But a lot is going through his head, and this is kinda what he wants to do, so imma gonna just let him do his thing.
> 
> And sorry, Konoe! I feel so bad for you!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These are Konoe’s thoughts as Konoe and Rai are walking through the forest toward Ransen. Konoe is trying to figure out how to deal with this new relationship with Rai, and is finding himself confused with his reactions to his earlier “punishment.”
> 
> This also is not in the game.

What the _hell_ have I gotten myself into? I’ve since managed to fix my clothing, stop my sobbing and cries, but damn if my ass isn’t burning up right now. _What in the hell have I gotten myself into?_

It’s rather irritating to watch that perfect white fluffy tail gently swaying from side to side in front of me, especially when my ass is on fire like this. He’s acting like that was a perfectly normal interaction!

And what the hell was my reaction? I actually _submitted_ to the guy. I admitted I was in the wrong, and I even cuddled with him afterward like he was my mother. I do _not_ understand why I did that! I am so embarrassed I could die!

In fact, that entire interaction was totally fucked up. I need to get to Ransen, yes. But how badly do I need to get there? Do I need to get there today with this crazy ass guy? Maybe it would be better if I just ran away. I know I’ve been wandering around in the woods for days, and I’d get lost again, I’m sure. So... maybe I can put up with him till we get to Ransen, at least?

Was this a one-time thing? Or is this going to happen on a regular basis? Oh, gods, I can’t deal with this if this is a regular thing for him. I’m not going to make it. I won’t be able to maintain a sense of self.

Maybe as long as I don’t do anything else to set him off I will be ok. I mean, in some respects, I _was_ kind of being a snot, and a poor traveling companion. But I don’t have any experience with other cats. Is this what it’s like? Is there always an alpha cat, dictating the other cats’ behavior by force? I don’t like this at all. I want an _equal_ say.

I _really_ don’t understand my own reaction, though. Do I actually _like_ this guy? Do I have a crush on him? What on earth was going through my mind back then? Maybe I’d just been worn down by the pain, and I just was desperate to do anything to get it to stop, so I submitted. I mean, I actually submitted to the punishment, to him, and let him get his way. I knew there was no way I could get away, so maybe that’s what I did.

But if I’m honest, that _isn’t_ what it felt like. It felt like I was safe in his arms like he would protect me, take responsibility for me when I make mistakes, and I sure could use that about now. Is that why I let him groom me? It just felt so good! I haven't had anyone groom me since Mom died. It was so soothing like he really meant me to be part of his family. But he doesn’t know me. I wonder if he’d change his mind if he knew about the curse.

Ugh, the curse! What am I going to do about the curse? How am I going to bring that up with him? Do I need to tell him about it? What am I going to do? Is he going to leave me when if I tell him? Gods help me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Konoe—he’s confused on many levels.
> 
> And btw—i should mention, I do not have an editor. Feel free to leave comments if you find stuff I missed. I’m going through things a fourth time (I read them twice in my editor before posting them, then a third time after posting them), and I’m STILL finding mistakes. It’s really hard to write in present tense! I don’t think I’ll do that again. :P


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arriving in Ransen, again mostly from Rai’s POV. This also follows the game pretty closely, except that we see things from Rai’s perspective.

He has been silent for some time, but the attitude adjustment has been extremely effective, apparently. Not a word of defiance or protest had dropped from the younger cat’s lips since Rai had administered the “punishment.” Although Rai finds his thoughts straying elsewhere as they pad softly through the woods, secretly thankful that his longer strides put him a few steps ahead of Konoe. Rai can’t get the image of the younger cat’s soft, round hindquarters out of his mind, and the bulge his trousers is an obvious indication that his thoughts are not of a scientific nature. The feel of skin on his hand, the inky black fur—lush and soft on his tongue—even the smell of him—the complete submission of the smaller cat into his arms had been hypnotic.

 _Has it been that long since I’ve physically touched another cat, for reasons other than battle?_ Rai tries to remember. Mating season was almost a half a year ago, and he’d been alone, hunting prey in the middle of nowhere, and he’d taken matters into his own hands.

 _Mating season_ —the thought pops up quite suddenly. He’d never been with someone he was genuinely interested in and attracted to during mating season before. He’d only ever mated for convenience, or a few times upon request or as part of a reward for killing prey. What would it feel like to mate with this young cat?

Suddenly overcome with desire, Rai turns his head to take a quick peek at Konoe, without slowing his pace. The young cat seems to be struggling to keep up with Rai’s long, leisurely strides, but his attention is elsewhere, his gaze wandering off into the forest with a distracted, almost sullen expression on his face.

Rai quickly turns back to the front, so as not to be detected, rather shocked by his actions and feelings. Fortunately, they’d arrive soon. Rai would be able to sort out these feelings this evening.

Sure enough, after a few moments, they reach the overlook.

“That is the city of Ransen,” Rai states.

“That...?” A surprised sound escapes Konoe’s lips. Rai notices the younger cat’s eyes sparkling in wonder. _Karou must be a small village. This is probably the largest city he’s ever seen._

“This town was one of many artifacts left by Two Canes—their buildings, their history, and even their knowledge. Therefore, many from throughout Sisa gather here,” Rai continues thoughtfully, as they continue their approach.

When they finally set foot in the city, Rai noticed the smaller cat’s jaw falling open. _He’s probably never seen so many cats living side by side before. Cute!_

“Don’t get lost,” Rai thinks to throw over his shoulder, as he heads in the direction of his regular inns.

As they are walking, Rai hears a surprised gasp from behind. By the time he turns to look, Konoe has disappeared. _That stupid cat! I just told him not to get lost!_

With annoyance, with just an edge of fear, Rai retraces his steps, looking first in the dark alleyways, where a delectable young cat might be dragged off without notice. Sure enough—Rai spots him a few minutes later, walking out of an alley, looking a little winded and out of breath.

“Oi!” Rai calls out, approaching quickly, face stern. He’s keeping alert for any pursuers. “What are you doing? I thought I told you not to get lost.”

“No, I...” Konoe replies, rather sheepishly.

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Rai goes on. “Let me guess. Someone dragged you into a back alley.”

Konoe’s shocked expression when he reflexively meets Rai’s gaze tells Rai he’s guessed correctly. “This place is different than Karou and the villages around it. There are plenty of cats here who are way stronger than you. Don’t be so reckless next time.”

Rai tries to keep the stern look on his face when he hears the irritated utterance fall from Konoe’s lips.

“Let’s go. Don’t get lost again. Who knows what will happen next time!” He turns on his heel without waiting for a response, expecting immediate compliance. _Also, I’m doing my best to keep a straight face here..._ Fortunately, it seems the young cat has learned his lesson and keeps up much closer this time.

Once they arrive at his preferred lodging house, a plain building simply marked “Inn,” he stops and tells Konoe, “Go in.”

As is often the case, there is no one behind the reception desk, only a note with instructions to sign in next to an empty room slot.

“What a ridiculous inn!” Rai is amazed this place can stay open.

“Want to go somewhere else?”

“No, it’s fine. This one is pretty comfortable.” With those words, Rai signs them into a single room and takes a key. “Let’s go.” He walks up the stairs to the room, trying not to think too hard about sleeping in the same room as the smaller cat with the beautiful buttocks.

When Konoe doesn’t follow after him, Rai figures he had to make a restroom stop first, so he leaves the room door open. But after waiting a few more minutes, Konoe still hasn’t arrived. _Where the hell has that stupid cat gotten himself off to this time?_

A little concerned, Rai retraces his steps again, walking back downstairs to the reception area. Much to his surprise, he finds Konoe sitting behind the reception desk, his black hood still covering his ears.

“Oi,” Rai says, to get the younger cat’s attention. He seems to be studying his boots with quiet intensity. “What are you doing over there?”

Konoe looks up, embarrassed. “I’ve been asked a small favor.”

“By whom?” Rai can’t keep the disbelief out of his voice.

“The innkeeper.”

“Why’d he ask?” Again, incredulous.

“He had errands to run, so he left.”

“... Jeez...” _I don’t even know what to say to that!_ “You’re stupid cats. You and the innkeeper both.”

A small discouraged sigh escaped Konoe’s lips.

“That’s such a sour face.” Rai can’t help pointing it out.

“I look that weird?” Konoe responds hopelessly.

“Yeah, weird.”

Another ( _adorable_ ) discouraged sound from Konoe as he hangs his head. _But what can I do? Stupid is as stupid does._ Rai heads back upstairs.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also along the line of the BL game, Rai and Konoe are at Bardo’s inn, in their room, checking their wounds, when Konoe reveals his markings to Rai. This is from Rai’s POV, and we get to see what his troubled mind is thinking.

Rai is checking his wound from their earlier test of strength when Konoe finally makes it back upstairs. He seems to be dragging his feet even more—probably overwhelmed with the noise and activity of the city, Rai suspects. When he sees Konoe watching him, Rai walks over to him and pulls on his arm, saying, “It’s not a big deal. Show me yours.”

Surprisingly, Konoe withdraws from his touch and replies, “I’m fine.” He walks to his bed.

 _Like that isn’t suspicious at all. Withdrawing from my help? I’m not convinced. And why are your ears flat?_ “What is it?”

Rai waits patiently for a moment, then turns to face Konoe directly, saying, “Show me already.”

Rai’s the senior here, so he takes a long stride out of bed toward Konoe, and grabs his arm.

“Don’t touch me!” Konoe lashes out with claws, striking Rai in the face. Konoe looks surprised, eyes open wide with shock, as though he hadn’t meant to become violent.

“To be wounded twice by the same cat.” After a moment of silence, Rai looks down at the blood on his hand which he’d used to wipe his cheek— _and on the same day, no less._

Konoe is obviously upset and nervous, hands clenched into fists, looking down at the floor, chewing on his lip.

“What are you so worried about? Your ears and your tail?” Rai tries to sound calm and neutral.

He hears a sound of shock in the brief silence.

“Even if black fur is a bad omen, the way you were covering yourself wasn’t normal. I thought as much when I saw you alone in the forest.”

After a brief silence, Rai feels resolution from the smaller cat. Konoe lifts his face as he removes his coat. He removes his gauntlets and boots, revealing... revealing markings the like of which Rai had never seen.

“This is...” Rai doesn’t know what to think. _Enchanting? Beautiful? Mesmerizing? Terrifying? A little bit of everything?_

The black markings on the smaller cat’s wrists and ankles seem to move under the firelight. Of course, these must be the markings of a curse. Rai watches the smaller cat drop his gaze—was he regretting sharing these markings with him now?

Rai takes one of Konoe’s hands in order to carefully study the marking. The black color against the pale skin seems ready to come alive and must be the work of a devil. But each of the four markings is different. The one on Konoe right wrist is particularly attractive to Rai, however, for a reason he can’t explain. He feels drawn to it.

“You’ve always had these here?” _I can’t imagine this cat living with these markings his entire life._

“No. I woke up like this one day. Same for my ears and tail.”

Somewhat relieved, Rai remembers out loud, “Black markings, black ears, and a black tail—signs of the legendary curse, correct?”

Hearing the words recited with the curse makes Konoe cringe and withdraw his arm in shame.

“This is what made you leave Karou? You were trying to reach Ransen to find a cure?” Rai’s voice softens.

While nodding his head, Konoe replies, “I couldn’t stay in my village. I had no choice but to travel to Ransen.”

“I see.” Rai steps back and leans against the wall for a moment, thoughtfully.

“If this is from a curse, there must be a way to undo it.”

“Huh?” A flustered, confused ( _and very sweet_ ) noise leaks out of the younger cat again.

“You can’t have exhausted every possibility. Or am I wrong?”

“Maybe. But what should I do?” Rai can hear the frustration building in Konoe’s voice and posture.

“Search around. Do you intend to let yourself be resigned to death so easily?”

“What are you saying?” Even more frustration builds up in that small frame.

Keeping his own tone low and even, Rai continues, “I mean exactly what I say. Or would searching be too much trouble?”

“That’s why...!” The start of a yell starts in Konoe’s belly but is cut off suddenly. Rai notices Konoe’s tail bristles again.

“I’m just saying you should consider the possibility.”

Apparently, that is the last straw.

“That’s just it! I _know_! You don’t have to say it! You’re telling me to just go out and _find_ it?” Konoe is yelling now, and Rai is surprised at the vehemence in his tone.

Rai pauses to let silence sink in, blinks slowly, and he opens his mouth.

“You really are a stupid cat.”

“... What was that?” Near total exasperation from Konoe at this point.

“I said I would come with you. You agreed. That’s why we’re here. So now you’re here. Why would I want to throw you out on your own now?”

Another ( _very cute_ ) questioning guttural noise spills from Konoe’s mouth.

“You’re saying you’ll come and help me look for a way to break the curse?” Disbelief colors the smaller cat’s tone.

“Obviously.” Rai takes a moment to think through the most convincing way to keep this cat at his side.

“Why?” asks Konoe.

“You’re a Sanga. I told you I’d train you, right?”

“Even if this is the same curse that’s supposed to bring misfortune to the world?”

“What about it? This would be a different conversation if I would vanish if merely touched by you.” Rai makes his voice as casual as it can be.

“You’ll go that far... you must really want a Sanga, huh?”

“I won’t deny that. Strength is essential for me. But when I help break the curse first, then you’ll have no complaints, right?” Again, Rai works at keeping his voice as casual as possible. _Please notice I’ve said_ when, _not_ if, _my little one._

Rai takes Konoe’s astonished utterance as agreement and speaks no more on the subject. He let some silence pass before he asks, “What?”

“Nothing. You’re just weird. Normally, no one would come near me, since I’m cursed.”

“It’s normal to judge by appearances. After all, most people are wary of their surroundings. They are afraid to be different from the others. If you are, you’ll be ostracized, simply out of fear. If you’re part of the majority, you aren’t the one hurt by everyone’s rejection.”

The air in the room is very different now. All hostility has vanished, faded into the night, replaced with something else, is it trust? Rai can't quite place it since he isn’t familiar with the feeling either. In any case, he is glad to see Konoe’s fur settle back to normal.  
  
“Show me your wound.” Konoe complies obediently, to Rai’s delight. He holds out his arm for Rai‘s inspection.

It is shallow—superficial, really, about the same as his, in fact—Rai is satisfied. “If that’s all it is, you’re fine.”

With a nod, he ( _reluctantly_ ) lets go of Konoe’s hand.

“Let’s rest for now, and think about all of this tomorrow.” He watches as Konoe sits down on his bed and takes a drink of water from his flask. He can’t help noticing that hooked tail again. Before he realizes what is happening, Rai is on his feet in front of Konoe. Startling even himself, he reaches out and grabs Konoe’s tail.

“Urgh! What are you doing? Let go!” Konoe lets out a shocked yelp. He can’t help himself stiffening up, baring fangs, and puffing up his fur again.

Rai, moving slowly, glances at Konoe, then goes back to inspecting the tail in his hands. He ruffles the fur at the hooked part, secretly wishing he’d groomed the soft fur earlier that day. _He can really feel in this part. He’s so sensitive here. I wonder what it’d be like to—_ Rai’s thought is interrupted.

“Let go!” Konoe begs a second time. 

“It’s a crooked tail.” _That’s all you can say? Come on, Tom up and say what you mean! Tell him you think it’s amazing! Tell him you love it!_ But Rai can’t let his thoughts run loose like that.

“Yeah, so what?” Rai glances briefly at Konoe— _he sounds almost insulted. No, he definitely is insulted._ So he immediately becomes preoccupied with that beautiful tail in his hands.

Konoe realizes he won’t be getting his tail back unless he swipes it back himself, which he does, quickly and efficiently.

Rai is rather shocked at the loss, and at the interaction, when he hears the following, in a small voice, “You have a really nice tail, yourself.” He watches Konoe curl his tail around his body and face the wall.

So, he wanders back to his bed, confused. _He likes my tail. Is that a sexual thing? Is he attracted to me, too? How am I to interpret that?_

Trying to remain calm, at least outwardly, Rai starts his lengthy evening grooming routine. He loves grooming. _I need to do it as elegantly as possible, no awkward motions or movements, just in case that stupid cat looks over here. Is grooming sexy? I bet I can make it sexy._

These thoughts race through Rai’s brain. His distinct lack of sexual and relationship experience do not come up at all in his thoughts. He is not at all discouraged by having no positive relationship experience—not even with his parents. What he lacks in experience, he will make up with confidence and arrogance.

 _I bet I can get him to look over here at me, while I’m grooming,_ Rai thinks again, as he’s cleaning one of his ears, listening to the busy streets outside. _Perhaps I should be grooming my tail when he does. He said he likes it. I wonder if he’s thinking about it. He_ must _be thinking about me._

Without looking in Konoe’s direction, Rai can tell that Konoe has started grooming as well. He can hear soft licking sounds from the other side of the room. The sound drives him crazy, making him remember that luscious soft fur he’d first touched this afternoon while whispering in Konoe’s ear, and then while grooming them thoroughly after the punishment had been completed.

 _Why am I thinking about that? The punishment was to make him respect me. It_ wasn’t _so I could touch him. That would be wrong. I wouldn’t touch him against his will. I’d_ never _touch him against his will. He looked so shaken this evening after he’d been dragged into that back alley—I wonder if something unsavory happened..._ Rai suddenly feels a blaze of anger in the pit of his belly and has to suppress a growl, much to his surprise. _How dare another cat touch_ MY _Sanga!_

He did punish Konoe for the purpose of an attitude adjustment, right? And it seemed to work. He hadn’t needed another reprimand this evening, though Rai briefly considered it after Konoe had wandered off in the city. And if he hadn’t been able to calm himself down, he would have done it again this evening. In fact, he found himself slightly disappointed that the young one had been able to calm himself down enough to listen to what Rai had to say just now, even as Rai was trying to provoke him.

 _Wait a minute. Does that mean I enjoyed it? Of course, it does._ Rai moves on to grooming his bushy silver tail, moving as gracefully and elegantly as he can, casually looking out the window from time to time. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees just a bit of movement from Konoe’s bed, and he glances up. _Ah ha! You were watching me! I knew it._

The sound of the smaller cat snuggling deep into the covers is an unusual sound to his ears. It’s not something Rai is used to hearing, and he finds it’s doing something strange to his heart, making it flutter oddly. He feels a sort of magnetic attraction toward Konoe’s side of the room, and for a moment he is concerned about being able to keep his hands to himself.

Rai is the type of cat who has _always_ preferred a good fight to a good fuck. But maybe that’s because, as Bardo suggested long ago, Rai has never experienced a good fuck. Or hadn’t _yet_ experienced a good fuck. He just wasn’t that interested in sex. _I mean, yeah, during mating season, it feels great. And sometimes even out of season, it’s healthy to get some release, especially if there happens to find a pretty female or attractive male who happens to be available. But that’s_ all _it is—just a good time and some release_. He has no qualms about what his partners do the next day, nor with whom. But the very _thought_ of someone putting his (or her or _oh my gods their_ ) hands on Konoe in a sexual way makes Rai’s blood boil. He can’t understand it.

He’d better get some rest. He can’t go on like this. He’d better do something about that younger cat’s sex appeal. He needs to find out what exactly Konoe is doing to him, and make him stop. Rai cannot have another cat with this kind of power over him. That’s no good.

The room is eerily quiet now that Rai has finished grooming, Konoe must have gone to sleep while grooming since Rai sees his small form rising and falling gently with every breath. The tiny tips of two inky black ears peek out from beneath the blanket, and the hooked part of his tail hangs limply off the bed. Rai fights the urge to cover it up.

But he’s thirsty. Rai gets up for a drink from the basin, which is between the two beds. He slurps the water quietly out of the cup. On his way back to bed, he gently pulls Konoe’s covers over the hooked part of the tail, just to keep it warm.

He finds it easy to drift off into the first peaceful, dreamless sleep he’s had in a long time after that.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai and Konoe start off the day in Ransen with the intent of looking for a shaman, but the run into a demon’s shadow. Rai is displeased with Konoe’s reckless behavior, but Konoe refuses to take responsibility for it, and a power struggle begins.
> 
> This chapter also starts out along the line of the BL game, only written from Rai’s POV. It diverges slightly toward the end, as you will see. I think he’s getting a little meaner, or perhaps a little more sadistic.

The next morning, the two of us set out about town to find the whereabouts of the shaman. I figure he might be a good resource to help break Konoe’s curse. I had heard there was one known for telling the future just outside of Ransen, but I don’t know where, so I decide to start at the local bars for information.

As we are walking, I notice Konoe suddenly slips away from behind me, breaking away in a run.

“Hey, where are you going? Hey!” I yell after him. _Damn that stupid cat! Won’t he ever learn?_ I watch his small form run off toward a dim alleyway.

I have to follow.

At the narrow entrance, there is a form, a shadow, at the end of the alley. It is tall and dark, mist rising at its base, surrounded by a golden glow. Instead of ears protruding from its head, it has horns. It is a devil’s shadow. _What is it doing here, and how did this young cat spot it?_

I watch as it raises its arm, and unbelievably, Konoe raises his sword and runs toward it in attack. _What a stupid, reckless cat!_

“Wait!” I yell, trying to warn him.  
  
He slashes across its breast, which, since this is not the devil’s true form, of course, does no damage. It reaches out its arm and strikes Konoe with a zap of electricity, leaving him breathless for a moment.

Fortunately, I am here to save the day. I strike it with my longsword, straight in the forehead, right over Konoe’s head, which the _only_ way to kill these forms. A small crack forms where my sword strikes it. Then, it shatters into a million pieces, like glass, when I remove my sword.

I look at the small cat on the ground with a sigh and say, “You are a complete idiot.”

He glares up at me, actually looking offended. _What? Is he_ offended _that I saved him? What the hell?_

“Don’t just pounce without thinking of the consequences. You’ll die.”

“It can’t be helped. If the main street was damaged, there would be chaos.” He is speaking fast in an annoyed tone.

“That, just now...” I nod toward the broken shards on the ground. “That was not its true form.”

Astonished, Konoe asks, “How do you know?”

“I’m a bounty hunter, so I also hunt demons. It’s better to know these things,” I state simply. “It would be a waste of energy if they used their true power.”

I sheath my sword and am about to return to the main street, but I pause for a moment instead. I turn my gaze to Konoe.

“What am I going to do with you?”

“Huh? What?” A confused utterance falls from his lips.

“How many times have I told you not to get lost? And we haven’t even been on the streets for half an hour, and already you are running off on your own!” I’m trying to keep my voice even, but I’m frustrated.

“But the demon—if he’d attacked the main street, there—“

I refuse to let him finish. “I know, I know. You already said as much, there would have been chaos. But if that’s the case, tell me. Don’t just run headlong into a situation like that! You don’t have the training to deal with demons.”

The smaller cat looks angry and offended but doesn’t say anything.

“What? You don’t agree?” I ask.

“I took care of a different one before I even met you, back in the forest,” Konoe’s brags.

“Hmpf,” I say. “By yourself? Without help? I find that hard to believe.”

There is a small pause, so I know I am right.

“Well, I did have a little help. But I _would_ have been fine!”

“Oh really,” I continue. Reaching out and grabbing the arm that had been shocked, I take hold of it none too gently, staring down into his face. “So this arm is feeling just fine right now, too?”

Konoe visibly flinches, but I can’t tell if it’s in pain or something else, and he twists away, trying to get out of my grasp. “It’s fine, Just leave it alone.”

“Yeah, _no_. I don’t think so. I think there’s a lesson to be learned right here. Remember our discussion last night? Do you know what I’m doing here?”

Konoe stops struggling for a moment and lowers his eyes. I think I feel a slight trembling in his body.

“I’m asking you a question, stupid cat.”

“You said you’d help me find a cure for this curse.”

“Right. And remember what my conditions are?”

“Um...” Konoe gaze wanders a little and he tries to struggle out of my arms.

“Yeah, I don’t think so. I don’t have many conditions. I want a Sanga. I said I’d train you. To learn, all you have to do is respect me. I don’t feel it’s respectful when you repeatedly ignore my instructions and run off, getting lost like this, charging into danger without thinking, trying to get yourself killed. Do you?”

“....”

“Well, _do_ you?” I whisper the question into Konoe’s soft black ear, which is delightfully close since I’m holding him tightly to my body.

“... No. But I was just trying to do the right thing!”

“I understand. However, the right thing, for you, as my Sanga, is to tell me what you need, and let me help you. What do you think you need to help you to remember that?” Again, I’m speaking just above a whisper, right into Konoe’s ear. I love feeling his soft fur on my lips.

“....”

“I can think of something that might help you to remember.”

“!” A surprised gasp leaks from Konoe’s mouth, and he flinches a little. “You wouldn’t do that here in public, would you?”

“But this isn’t very public, is it? We’ve been here several minutes and no one has ventured down this alley. In fact, it’s quite private, I’d say.” I try to sound neutral, but I can’t figure out why I’m getting so excited myself.

“I’m open to suggestions if you have any.” I propose, rubbing my face against Konoe’s ear. I feel gooseflesh rising on his arms. “If you don’t, then let’s make this quick, ok? Why don’t you put your hands up against the wall this time?”

Konoe freezes and doesn’t move. I can see he is fighting within himself, whether he is going to submit his will to mine. I’m thinking about what I’ll do if he chooses not to submit. It’s beginning to look like he isn’t going to submit so easily this time. Hmm. Interesting.

I let go of him, and he takes that moment to slip away and dash down the alley. I think he might be headed back toward the inn, but I can’t be sure. I think he _may_ be slightly directionally challenged, but that’s highly unusual for a Ribika,.

Very interesting. I’ll have to come up with another plan, then. He will _definitely_ need to take responsibility for this later.

I stroll out of the alley and find a short path through the forest, which eventually leads back to the inn. I happen to find a nice looking piece of flexible birch while I’m walking, and I take it along with me, picking off the leaves as I walk. I bring it back to the inn and walk up the stairs to the second floor to wait for my rebellious little Sanga to return.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoe returns to the inn, and Rai suggests they begin training. He may have another motive, however. The piece diverges from the BL game at this point. Told from Rai’s POV, and he’s becoming a little... obsessed.
> 
> Trigger warning: Some non-con physical contact, spanking, physical punishment in this chapter.

The moon of light is starting to set by the time Konoe makes it back to the inn. By this time, I’ve worked out a plan. I have my supplies in my pack, and when he returns, looking rather sheepish and apologetic, I surprise him by suggesting we train.

His gorgeous amber eyes, honey-colored in the evening sun, brighten at my suggestion. We walk together to an empty open glade I’d found while walking back to the inn earlier that day.

“Before we start, I have something to say.” Konoe’s small voice breaks the silence suddenly.

“What?” I ask.

“I have something I want to talk to you about.” He’s meeting my eye rather boldly with those gorgeous eyes of his.

“Speak.”

“After I tell you, there’s no going back.”

“Oh?” _This should be interesting. Maybe it’s a love confession?_

But then, he drops his gaze to his feet.

“My body... this curse is probably something more complicated than we think. There’s something else. Someone is plotting. I feel like I’m being tested.”

“By whom?”

“I don’t know. Although it’s invisible, it’s an enormous presence. It could easily crush my life in the palm of its hand. You probably just want my powers as a Sanga, but you should know that something worse is happening to me.” With those words, he turns his face to meet mine.

“So if you really want to be involved with me, you have no choice but to shoulder that weight, too. It’ll probably be hard. That’s why—“ and then he lowers his face again.

I am quiet for a moment, intending to let him finish, but he doesn’t speak any further.

“Lift your face,” I say gently. “I should have said so before. Whatever curse may come, I won’t complain. No matter how extensive it is. At this point, you don’t worry about it. Everything has already been put into action.”

Nodding my head slightly, I continue, “Therefore don’t look back. Unless you want to lose your footing and maybe even your own life. I decided my path the moment I chose to train you as my Sanga. All right?”

I approach the smaller cat closely, looking at him in the eyes.

“If you have the time to think, then look ahead. Your true enemy isn’t some curse, a formidable presence, or a tragic destiny. It’s you if you give up. If you don’t want to lose, you must stay strong.”

I pause for a moment, letting the words sink in.  
  
“Do you understand?”

Konoe’s eyes brighten again, and his anxiety significantly lessened. He nods quickly and smiles.

Returning his smile earnestly, I say, “Good, I’m glad.” And I let a small comfortable pause pass before I continue.

“I _also_ have something I need to discuss. It has to do with respect.”

I can feel Konoe’s posture shift slightly.

“I don’t want you to fear me,” I say, facing the smaller cat. “But you must show me respect. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you grew up without a father?”

A huff of disbelief falls from Konoe’s mouth— _it’s such a sweet sound, really_ —telling me my guess was correct.

“That explains your inability to show respect for your elders. However, it also will prevent you from learning as fast as you might be able to. You will be convinced your ways are better, and you may ignore my experience, which is not helpful. This is why respect is so important.”

There is a short, frustrated pause from Konoe’s direction.

“I don’t mean to quash your independence, young one. So if you have something to say, say it. Just keep it respectful.”

“But I _do_ respect you, Rai,” sounds a whiney, protesting voice.

“No, if you respected me, you wouldn’t wander off, like you did today _and_ yesterday. I need you to _show_ me respect, as well. And I can’t seem to find another solution for this problem, except another physical lesson. I hate to suggest it, but you tend to learn quite well with your body.”

Konoe is standing quite close to me, looking at his feet, considering running again. I can tell running is still an option from his posture.

“Don’t you want to learn to put those Sanga skills to use?” I reach out and gently touch Konoe’s chin, tilting it up to meet his eye. “I want to teach you. I want to hear that song of yours again.”

To my utter shock, a small tear slips down Konoe’s cheek.

“Yes,” he answers. “I want to be a Sanga, and I want to be _your_ Sanga. What do I have to do to make it right?”

The tears catch me off guard, but there’s no stopping at this point. I’ve spent too long planning this now. I slowly guide Konoe to the edge of the glade, where a fallen log has conveniently fallen, and sit myself down on it. Konoe’s kneels in front of me, keeping his eyes lowered, but silent tears keep coming.

“I haven’t done anything yet,” I say, wiping at Konoe’s tears. “Why the tears? Do you fear me that much?”

“No, it’s not that! I just feel terrible! I ran from you, even when you protected me! You are the only cat I can trust, and I ran!” Sobs wrack Konoe’s small body.

A little piece of my heart comes undone hearing this, and I _almost_ feel shame for wanting to discipline this small cat. Are my intentions just? I _think_  they are. So I slowly and gently drag Konoe over my knee and lower his pants quickly—in one smooth action.

This gets Konoe crying harder, but he doesn’t resist. Resting one hand on Konoe’s naked buttocks, I use the other to drop the bag I’ve brought along off my shoulder, and I remove the birch, keeping it out of sight. Rubbing Konoe lightly, almost teasingly, I ask, “Will you need a warm-up for this one, or do you just want to get the punishment over with?”

Konoe stiffens on my lap, confused. He isn’t sure what is going to happen. So he says in a small dejected voice, face lowered to the ground, “Just get it over with.”

“All right then. Why don’t you stand up, then, your legs spread slightly, and brace your hands against this trunk.” It isn't a question, but an order. I also stand.

Konoe follows the instructions, his face flushing red.

I run my hand over Konoe’s smooth ass one more time before letting the first stroke come down. Konoe's ears twitch when he hears a swish, almost a whistle, then a smack, then feels a burn, most unlike the bare-bottomed hand spanking he’d received the day before. The switch will burn, white-hot and sharp, down into his legs, and into his privates, after just one swat.

Before he can catch his breath, he hears the whistling sound a second time, followed by a loud smack. He cries out loudly this time, in pain, as the birch hit him right in the sit spot. His face is red, and I can tell he is humiliated.

Swish-smack—tears and sobbing—he squirms out of the way, trying to escape, but he keeps his hands where they are. _Is it possible that it hurts too much, it is too painful?_

Swish-smack—swish-smack—swish-smack—I give him three swats in a row, with not enough time to breathe or catch his breath between each blow, or even let him scream—at least not till the last blow, at any rate.

 _Why am I getting off on this?_ I can feel myself getting hard through my breeches, and it’s a little disturbing. I’ve never considered myself sadistic, but the way this kitten’s round bottom is wriggling around helplessly is too sexy and cute for words. In my head, I know he is very much in pain, and the reason he is in pain is because of the strokes **I** am giving him... and that’s an even _bigger_ turn on.

Konoe’s hand starts to snake behind his back to cover his buttocks to act as a shield. The way he does it is so sneaky, hoping not to be caught.

“I don’t think so, little one. We don’t want to ruin your hands,” I chuckle. “Assume the position.”

Real tears and sobs are overcoming the poor kitten at this point. I reach out and rub Konoe’s burning butt cheeks—they are surprisingly smooth and so very warm. When I touch them, Konoe flinches in surprise, but melts into my touch, almost as if begging for a softer touch, without words.

I feel something in my heart as well as my better judgment breaking—I hear an audible cracking sound in my head—and its own, it seems, my body brings itself next to Konoe's, sitting back down on the log.

Ever so gently, and quietly, murmuring in his ear (I’d whisper, but it wouldn’t be heard over his cries), I ask, “Is the birch too much? Should I finish with my hand?”

The sweetest gasp is uttered from Konoe’s mouth—it’s almost a sexual sound—like begging or pleading—and Konoe is instantly on his knees before me. The small cat lets loose a string of sounds, I think they are words, that sound something like this:

“Oh please please _please_ , I _beg_ you, I’ll do _anything_ —I had _no_ idea how much that would hurt—it just stings _so_ much, all the way to my _knees_ and _feet_ , even in my _tail_ and back, and places I didn’t _know_ were even connected—it hurts so _much_ —but I promise I will never _ever_ disrespect you in word or deed again, and I will _never_ leave your side, and I am _so_ sorry I did, I just wasn’t paying _attention_ , and I’ll _ask_ you next time for what I need, and, and, _please_ if you would just use your hand, I would be so _grateful_ , I’d do _anything_...”

The tears are still falling, making his beautiful eyes even larger and softer and lighter amber, like a golden honey. This kitten is beautiful when he cries, when he begs. And he said he'd do anything? What a beautiful image. I never thought any cat could be beautiful begging—but maybe because it is _this_ cat, and he is begging _me_.

“Climb up on my lap, then,” I say gently, and Konoe complies obediently. Before bringing my hand down for the first slap, I notice that the birch has been pretty harsh on his pale skin. It hasn’t blistered or bruised, but there are red (not pink) marks from where the branch hit him, and those are hot to the touch. However, a punishment is a punishment, and I won’t take it easy.

I raise my hand and bring it down hard on his right butt cheek, which makes a satisfyingly loud slap. Konoe grunts, and squirms a bit under my hand, but the tears have slowed. The next slap is on the left cheek, same place. Another grunt and squirm. Next, I follow with a sit spot blow on the right, which seems to hurt quite a bit more, and earns an audible yelp with tears as well. The sit spot on the left earns the same.

I speed up the tempo just a bit, to make it clear that this is not getting _out_ of a punishment, only receiving a different _kind_ , and soon tears and cries are flowing freely. But Konoe is on my lap, and I can feel him squirming to escape the blows, which feels pretty amazing. But soon, Konoe gives in and allows the blows to rain down. He still flinches, and he still sobs and cries, but he doesn’t try to anticipate the blows or escape the pain anymore.

After his submission to the pain, for a while longer, I deliberately slow down the volleys. I offer several last very hard sit spot spanks ( _when you sit down this week, I want you to remember why it hurts and who made you hurt like this_ ) just before finishing. These earn extra sobs and tears. Then, I rub Konoe’s ( _oh so pretty_ ) pink behind for a moment as I pull him up to his knees.

It feels so good to have Konoe melt right into my chest, even with all his sobbing. I feel the small cat’s chest hitch, and to calm him, I take the chance to groom his wonderfully soft black ears. I’m rewarded with loud, wet purring.

We relax like this for some minutes, till Konoe’s breathing is under control. “We came here to train, little one. I just want to make sure our time isn’t wasted. Have I been too hard on you?” I’m genuinely worried.

“No,” insists Konoe. “Just show me what to do, and I’ll try my best.”

We both stand up, and I walk a little ways away from Konoe, to give him some space. “Let’s start with the song. There are several ways to learn a song. But I’ve heard that a Sanga always has a song of their own.”

“We have our own song?” His soft voice echoes sweetly.

“Maybe it’s second nature for a Sanga. First, let’s see you call forth a song.”

“How do I do that?”

“Remember what it was like when your song emerged in as much detail as possible.”

I see Konoe open his mouth as if to argue, but then suddenly he changes his mind. Hmm. Had the lesson in respect actually started to take effect? I’m impressed. I watch as he closes his eyes to concentrate for a few moments.

“Ugh... it’s no use.” Konoe sounds frustrated, his forehead covered with sweat.

“Take it easy. Did you feel anything at all?”

“... No...” But Konoe sounds hesitant, so I encourage him.

“If you feel even the _slightest_ thing, pursue that sensation next time.”

Konoe closes his eyes again. I can hear him straining, and it causes me to worry, but I let him struggle. Then, about a minute later, the same melody I had heard from him before emerges from his body. _It’s magical!_

I see soft tendrils of light forming from Konoe’s body and flowing to mine, causing me to glow. It’s an amazing feeling, and I’m shocked he is able to do it on the _second_ try. It feels _so good_ , so powerful. I’m very proud!

The song—the melody—it’s soft, it’s warm, it’s filled with heat from this small cat. It’s filled with protection. I don’t know why, but it feels like it might be a mistake that he intends it for me, but when he sings, it's _definitely_ meant for me. And the feeling is _incredible_.

Suddenly, I hear crackling, and the song fades away. I’m speechless. I don’t know what to say to this cat. I’ve never worked with a Sanga, but I’ve heard that training can take years. Only a genuine Sanga would be able to call forth a song from nothing on his second try. I really don’t know what to say. But first, I need to tell him what I felt. I open my mouth.

“That time, when you had closed your eyes, I began to hear little bits of a song. In that instance, I truly felt full of power.” I hope he will catch the importance of the words I am saying.

“So I did it?” Konoe sounds amazed.

“It seems like it,” I reply. I am watching him closely, noticing his pale face, and his shaking knees. Suddenly, he collapses to the ground—now this, I have seen. Singing causes a huge power drain on the Sanga, so I am prepared.

I catch him in my arms easily before he hits the ground.

However, he looks weirdly... I don’t know, maybe embarrassed, about this energy loss, and the fact that I came to his rescue again. I don’t know if he is angry or if he is embarrassed, but in either case, he breaks eye contact with me as soon as he realizes I’ve caught him and kept him from cracking his head open on the ground.

“I’m all right now. Let go.” He sounds a little put out. I realize I know _nothing_ about what he is thinking and feeling. I feel a little lost, and hurt, I realize. I say,

“The deep trust between a Sanga and a Touga will develop their abilities. But if both of their hearts are not as one, there is no meaning in their individual abilities.... it is something you know as a ‘bond.’”

And yeah, I let a little sarcastic ridicule toward myself drip into that last sentence.

“Are you saying it’s impossible to be a partner with me?” Konoe asks angrily.

Very softly, I reply earnestly, “Not you. I’m talking about _me_.”

Konoe frowns in reply, and another sweet, nonsensical noise is released from his lips.

As for me, I figure I’d better stop while I’m ahead, I let go of Konoe before I do something I shouldn’t, and turn away. I guess we should just move on.

“If you don’t have any more problems, then that’s enough for today. Next will be sword practice.”

“Sword?” I don’t think I will ever tire of that cute little echo.

“While a Sanga doesn’t need a sword, you never know what might happen. If you have to, you must be able to raise arms and fight.”

Konoe interrupts. “Earlier, what kind of a song was it?”

“Your song?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t feel anything special happen. If anything, it was just the basic song that serves to strengthen the Touga.”

“... I see.” There is disappointment in Konoe’s voice.

“The basics are very important, as they are the easiest to use. From now on, you’ll get better at it. If you don’t, I’m going to be in trouble. Still, for a first timer, you did well.” I do my best to sound encouraging.

An expression of shock comes over Konoe’s face.

“What? Do you want to ask something else? If there is nothing else, let us begin.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short piece following from Rai’s POV after sword training, close to the game’s narrative, in which the walk back to the inn.
> 
> Rai tries to keep himself under control, and he does pretty well.

The moon of shadow is low in the sky by the time we’ve finished sword practice. As I’d expected, Konoe’s fighting skills are surprising—the small cat is nimble, and much faster than he looks. I found myself enjoying our sparring—in more ways than one.

As we walk back toward the inn, I’m relieved to be walking ahead of him, so he won’t notice the bulge in my pants—an uncommon occurrence and side effect of fighting for me—but hey, sometimes the fighting is _just that good_! I just couldn’t keep mind off of the smaller cat’s body—the feel of him—how muscular his legs look, and yet, how soft his skin felt beneath my hands.

I find myself looking forward to another discipline session with him. I am, in fact, scheming to set him up for a fall, just as an excuse for more skin contact. I feel a shudder in my shoulders, running down my spine to the tip of my tail, imagining subjecting him to my will—I wonder what he’d feel like completely nude in my arms, and I have to adjust my trousers again for comfort. A tiny drop of spit escapes from my mouth, which I catch with my tongue, just from my overly active imagination.

Suddenly, I realize he’s stopped walking, and I find him staring off into the forest. _He’s wandered off again_. After the shadow demon in the street, being pulled into a back alley, has he _still_ not realized he’s in danger when separated from me?

He seems to be concentrating on something in the shadows, but I don’t see anything, nor do I sense any presence. I wait patiently for a few moments. Perhaps he is exhausted from the training, or learning his song. I’m new to the experience of the Sanga, myself, and don’t know what to expect. Perhaps a little mercy would be in order, here, and I reproach myself for my secret fantasies.

When he doesn’t move, and continues staring into nothing, I finally approach and tap his shoulder. He jumps from surprise, all fur bristled and standing on end. It’s quite an adorable sight; I have to admit. However, I replace my smile with a scowl when I feel his tail lash against my leg.

“What are you doing?”

“Just now...” A confused utterance falls from Konoe’s mouth, as he stares back into the forest. I follow his gaze, but see nothing.

“Were you dreaming?” _Heaven knows I was._

Another frustrated noise sounds from his throat. “It’s not that.”

More gently this time, I respond, “Let’s go.” He’s probably just tired. I can’t help wondering exactly _how_ tired. _Like, how soundly will this cat sleep tonight? Soundly enough for me to be able to get away with doing something?_

I turn on my heel, expecting him to follow, and I hear his footsteps behind me. I slow my pace slightly, accommodating his smaller stature, enjoying the evening air.

Once we return to the inn— _isn’t there ever any staff here?_ —Konoe gives me details about a character he met called Firi. Apparently, Firi is the main reason Konoe feels like there is someone working against him.

I listen carefully, nodding my head, but this information doesn’t change our situation.

Also, watching Konoe talk so earnestly while sitting in the bed is hard on my heart and my body. So I keep my mouth shut. I’m afraid of saying something strange, or coming on too strong and scaring him off. I can’t get his mysterious song out of my head, nor the feel of him, and I’m finding myself _itching_ to touch him.

Was I attracted to him before I heard him sing? Or was it his song that drew me to him first? I try not to stare too much, but I can’t help thinking about those wonderfully soft ears. Also, I wonder if his ass is still warm like it was earlier, and if it is, will he remember that _I_  was the one who made it that way?

It’s unnerving. I mean, Antou is around the corner, so maybe it’s just mating season hormones. But I’ve _never_ felt like this. Nothing this desperate. I don’t like how he holds this power over me, and I want to switch our roles. I'm supposed to be the master here.

When he settles down in the bed across from mine, I find myself stealing glances across the room. His grooming routine takes much less time than mine, and he curls himself up tightly into a ball when he first settles down to rest, just like a kitten.

Again, my thoughts wander to what it might feel like to have my body snuggled up around him, keeping him warm. I keep trying to push those thoughts away—I can’t afford this kind of distraction right now. I need more strength. _His_ strength: the power of that song.

I hardly get any sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please keep reading this story - head on over to Part 2 for the continuation! Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> This is chapters 1-10. I'm splitting the work into parts, so it won't take so long to get to the updates. Please note: I've just split up this work into two parts - Chapters 1-10 are in Part 1. I've done this for ease of reading, and also for ease of posting new stuff. It's a lot easier for me to manage these as well. Unfortunately, I realized too late that some of your amazing comments were deleted--and I am so, so sad about that! So if you feel like commenting again, I'd love it. :) Thank you!
> 
> Thanks for reading! I love any and all feedback. My first ever fan fic, so feedback, yes, but be gentle! ;)


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